We are all little balls of energy and with every encounter we pass this energy onto one another every second of every day.
I remember when I worked in a very busy restaurant and when I started a shift at 5pm I would soak up the energy of all the other staff members. You could tell when it had been a good day; everyone is full of beans, happy to help and greet you kindly as you enter. When it had been a difficult shift, people are impatient, want to leave asap and are blunt with their responses. Energy is infectious.
We all connect through language, speech and body aura; we are complex and interesting beings. When one person is negative and they are confronted by three positive people it can go many ways – depending on the types of characters. The positive may encourage the negative or the negative may bring the positive down thus making their relationship associated with negativity.
You are responsible for your emotions and how they come across to other people. No one else. Your friends, your family, your partner, your colleagues they are just other people; their emotions can be as easily impacted as your own.
When suffering with mental illness there can feel as though you have a level of entitlement to scream your emotions at others; but there is not – we are all people, we are all human, we are all capable of feeling negative emotion and it is truly unfair to make people feel as though your emotions are more important than theirs.
Taking your mental turmoil out on other people will only have a negative impact on your life and your relationships.
It is firstly important to be strong enough to hear when you have ‘stepped out of line’ and taken your mood swings a little ‘too far’; there have been many times where it takes me a while to admit ‘yes ok I did and I wasn’’t considering its affect on you’ sometimes I would find myself saying ‘well I can’t help it!’
The thing about mental illness is, yes it can be out of your control, but once you accept the problem truly and how it can make you act and feel – then you can start to change and manage it as best as you can.
Secondly you need to acknowledge and understand when you’re having a ‘bad day’ within, when you’re suffering these can creep up on your unexpectedly and without reason and they can impact you greatly either for the day, for the week or even longer.
With understanding you can then make the little steps to make your day a bit easier, your mood a little lighter without going in on yourself or taking it out on the people around you.
5 ways to control help prevent taking your mood changes out on the people who matter to you:
- Slow Down: Take things slowly, your head may be rushing with what I refer to as ‘emotional noise’ but take each thing one step at a time. Whether you’ve got a big task ahead of you or a little one, focus solely on what you are doing in that exact moment – making a cup of tea? Think only about making that cup of tea. Make that cup of tea and then move onto the next task.
- Find comfort: We all have things that bring us comfort; mine is a comfy knitted jumper, if you’re feeling down ensure you have something with you that gives you a little warmth and comfort within.
- Have silence: If you are feeling down, sometimes there is value in silence. By silence I do not mean, sit and listen to your emotional noise but sit and be silent with yourself. Breathe slow, think in steps. Otherwise you very well may end up starting to spurt your emotional noise onto other people around you.
- Get writing: Write your thoughts down onto a piece of paper and either put it away in an envelope or rip it up. I find it reduces the significance of the thought
- Value discussion: Understand which thoughts require a little bit of stress of thinking over, and which do not. When something is really bothering you – talk to ONE person and no more on the issue, someone you know is trustworthy, someone you know helps ease your mind. If all your conversations become about the same thing then it can only make your emotional noise even louder that you can’t help but snap and scream and shout.
It can be normal to take your feelings out on the people you are around, sometimes; but if it happens all too often it can cause relationships of all kinds to eventually fill with resentment and maybe even fear. Finding ways to manage it can only have positive ripple effects on your well being and the well being of those important to you.
Peace comes from within. You are responsible for your emotions. No one else.
But allowing your emotional noise to cloud your head so much may then create a cycle of negative ripple effects.
Kindness travels further than negativity ever will.
Your attitude feeds everyone else’s attitude.