It’s mental health awareness week and this post is for the ones who are currently in a great deal of emotional pain. This comes from the heart, for I was there once; unbathed, avoiding daylight, taking 2400mg of my prescribed beta-blockers at once. I’ve come a long way since then, preparing to travel India when I’ve never really travelled and writing about my experience of complex emotions and their power on the mind…
There is only one way we can travel and that is forwards. No matter the overwhelming desire to go back, to hide away – we simply cannot. It is impossible, in time, to go backwards. There is no ‘back to square one’ there is no ‘nothing has changed’ there is no ‘I’m stuck’. Forwards is constant, an undeniable truth of time. So no matter how much your head may win on bad days, remember that going forward – your mind can win on good days.
Recovery is a process of nurturing, kindness, compassion, patience and understanding. You must surround yourself with voices of reason and positivity. You must choose to deny the nature of ignorance and understand it is a product of fear. You must believe that once, you were happy – and happiness is your birth right and can be felt again.
I am not my mental illness. I am the person I became when I chose I deserved to get better. I’m not better every day, in fact I’m truly awful some days – but I am not who I am on a bad day – I am who I choose to become because of this bad day.
Strength comes from understanding the nature of forwards; it comes from understanding that the saddest, most anxious minds have still recovered; it comes from realising exactly what we all deserve, happiness.