I make this statement with a question mark, because I’m not arsed about Valentine’s Day; that’s not in some miserably ironic ‘nobody loves me on valentine’s day’ way – more I really couldn’t care less. I never have. In fact I’d describe myself as metaphorically allergic to this forced day of romance, presents and smooching.
I prefer my gifts and smooching when I least expect it, when love is in the air and you fancy showing the person special to you how important they are to you and your life.
I believe many girls can be far too uptight about this and men will grumpily follow pursuit and buy a gift in order to avoid aggravation. Or maybe I’m being a little rude and it’s the other way around – the guy loves it, the girl doesn’t. Then there are some couples who give into this day and turn it into something big.
Enough ranting about my opinion on this day and let me reach a point…
As 2018 began I reflected upon my experiences of 2017 and realised that many of them were inspired, created and spent with someone very important to me. I also reflected on the fact that I’d been a terrible pain in the arse at times, not intentionally, but my mental illness would impact my and then also our relationship together as I’d lash my emotions out on them even though if I’d dealt with them differently, I know they could have helped.
I think this has always been a problem of mine. I almost had a lightbulb moment when I realised that there’s only so much of your mental illness that someone else can take before they have to walk away and leave you to it.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it.
So I got a little card from Paperchase and wrote them a very sincere note to say that I truly appreciate them for their whole existence and impact on my life.
This wasn’t some forced ‘I love you’ and ‘let’s have a nice meal’ it was a genuine part of my heart given to them to acknowledge the good, the bad and the ugly and make peace with it. To show true appreciation, not only to them but to myself.
Spend 2018 spreading the love, appreciating those who you feel truly lucky to have and don’t just stop appreciating a friend or loved one because you have them. It’s too easy to take what you have for granted, but it’s even better to keep remembering and cherishing it.
Spread more love, daily.
When you’re feeling very appreciative of someone, don’t hold it back. When someone has truly upset you, let them know calmly and work it out. When you’re struggling within, spend time with yourself to figure it out and try not to scream it in the faces of others who cannot fully fix it.
It might be Valentine’s Day, but I’m recommencing we all appreciate each other and prove this when our heart tells us to – not when the card shops advertise it.
My best friend Clarissa, left this on her colleague’s desks at work – it illustrates a great point – with genuine self-love and care, love can follow.
Let’s get head happy.